I'm officially on the road for the re-release of BLUE CHRISTMAS. Friday I flew to Detroit and then Saturday I gave a talk at a library fund-raiser in Grosse Point Farms. This is a verrry chi-chi town. The only thing I knew about it was that darkly comic movie Grosse Point Blank with John Cusack. The fund-raiser was held in a beautiful 1910 building, the War Memorial, which sits right on rolling green lawns on Lake Michigan. At least--I think it was Lake Michigan. Also on the lunch program were mystery writers Nevada Barr and Stuart Kaminsky. A swell time was had by all. I didn't know if I'd have any readers as far away as Grosse Point Farms, but turns out I do. As I said in my talk, I write about women. Although I'm from the South and have never lived outside the South, I believe that underneath all our big hair and Lee Press-On nails, we're just like those gals up north. Bless our hearts!
On the way back to the airport, I had the driver cruise up and down the streets, but tragically, there were no estate sale signs anywhere to be found. I hung around the Detroit airport for four hours waiting for my flight. I discovered the Northwest Admiral Club--score! They have a fireplace and cheese and crackers and serve-yourself bar. As I was getting on a plane--either in Atlanta or Detroit, I overheard a guy in front of me talking on his cellphone. Here's what he said: "I been drinking in the lounge for a couple hours, and now I gotta piss like a racehorse. But I never use the bathrooms on planes. Instead, I got a plastic bag with me. I'll just get me one of those blue blankets....." Can I just say EEEEEWWWWWW! Can you imagine sitting next to this bizarro?
Then today I went to the Women's Expo sponsored by the Kingsport, Tenn. paper. They had all these vendors selling perfume and makeup and Pampered Chef stuff, ect. And a whole bunch of authors. In between selling and signing books, I got to looking at the booth opposite ours. These women were selling these fat-wrap systems. And they had a show special--$20 for a tummy wrap. You know I totally went for it. Of course they advertise that you can lose 4 inches in 4 hours or something. Personally, I think it's probably a bunch of hooey. But I'll try anything once. So I've got this swath of herb-soaked goo wrapped around my belly, and that's wrapped with Saran wrap. And when I walk it sounds like I'm wearing Depends. But I'm totally counting on having my pants zip a little looser tomorrow. So later on I waddled over to the Belks' booth and had some Clinique makeup slapped on. I bought some new eyeshadow and got myself made up with full-tilt spackle. So now I'm wearing my herb depends and I've got great make-up, and I'm sitting in my hotel room watching chick flicks on TBS. Pretty soon I'll dial up some room service dinner and startle the waiter with my beauty. Not a bad life. Tomorrow--off to New York.